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eeniitsiirk
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Name: enitsirk
Gender: Female
Interests: shopping, food, picture taking, sleep, hanging out with buddys.
Expertise: being bored.
Occupation: president of boredom.
Message: message me
AIM:  eeniitsiirk
Member Since:
6/25/2006
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| I miss my first year of college. A time when i didnt worry about makeup and what people thought about me. I have become so vain. This is a note to myself. This is the path i have chosen. There is no one else who can help me overcome this. Stop relying on others on how i should feel. Pull it together, achieve that balance. Woooooosah. | | |
| I don't know where I am anymore. I felt like I pushed him away in order to have friends. I lost the one guy that I really love. At this point it makes me wonder..is it worth having a bunch of new friends and losing someone you love? I've forgotten how to talk to him, how to be with him.. and now that we're done I feel like I've lost the whole world. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Have I become this dependent on him? Why is it that now that I'm with my friends, I feel the sense of loneliness? It reminds me of "Dark Blue" by Jack's Mannequin.
I feel as if I'm at a fork in the road. Should I become an officer of VSA? I'm confident enough to say that I will be committed, but I have no moral support from the ones that matter. He definitely does not want me to be any more involved with VSA than I am now. My parents also don't want me to do anything involving VSA. I feel as if I'm stabbing them all with a knife by choosing this officer position rather than TLC..
I need to learn from my mistakes, where did I lose myself? I thought I was able to balance my social life, my love life, and my family life all at once. but when I focus on one thing, the other two fall and become forgotten. I sit here late at night thinking to myself where the hell did I go wrong and why was I too thick headed to not see disaster coming? And the bigger problem I face is, how do I gain back what I've lost? | | |
| Fuck it. I tried writing up a blog. It doesn't work anymore, I cannot express my feelings through words.
I've looked back on the things I need to do soon. And I've only done one of them. Which was getting my second piercings. I need to get my cartilage pierced. Maybe I'll get it done on my birthday. As for my tattoos, I just want the mario star. I need the feeling of invincibility to come back. | | |
| Where have you gone? I don't believe that you've left this world. I still believe that you've ran away and you're living your life as a happy hobo. We all miss you, I still choke up when I think about the day we found out you left us. Instead of studying for chemistry I just happen to stumble upon your facebook, now I'm on facebook with a tear streaming down my face, wishing you were here. I miss those random aim conversations about being socially awkward. I miss riding your longboard around the event center. I miss dancing the waltz with you. Times like these where I wish it was all a dream... Heaven needs internet connection so you can still keep in touch with all of us...
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| -Get my second piercings re-pierced. Because they got infected the first time and it closed up.
-Get my cartilage piercing. Because I've always wanted one. Since I can't get a lip piercing, this will do.
-Get a Mario Star tattoo. I haven't figured a place to put it, maybe on my ankle, where I can hide it.
-Get my rib cage tattoo. It's gonna look like someone ripped off my skin and left my rib cage exposed. Pretty sick huh?! It's gonna cost me hella money and it's gonna hurt like a bitch.
-Get a second job. Stupid Gap isn't giving me any hours, and I dislike working retail.
Pretty much these are things that are for me specifically, haha, idk, I always wanted to do these things and yet the only reason why I'm not doing them is because my parents are so strict. I've learned that my parents can't hold me back forever. If they wanted to keep me their little girl, they shouldn't have sent me to college.
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